I'm non-toxic!

god.

2006-11-11T01:05:48Z

fuck.
i'm so god damn pissed off, i can't stand the fact that i work almost full time now, and tony, sam, and danny, do absolutly nothing. i clean up Mr. Chins piss, i do the dishes i do the laundry, i clean tones room, what do they do poke smot and sleep, all day everyday.
i fucking suggest that Tone tries to get a fucking job just try and i'm just suggesting like, " hey your parents would probably be more down for that if you started looking for a job", or "you know we won't ever get out of the state if you don't get a job."
i'm just so aggrivated with there lazy-ness. i am not going to support them not this time around. no fucking way. and if i actually get my own place there is no way that i'm going to let them move in with me, i don't give a shit if sam has no place to stay i will not be there mother. if i got my own place i would barely be able to supposrt myself, let alone them. fuck that maybe i'll just ask my 'rents if i can take there basment for 50 bucks or something. guh. let alone all the drama at work. i have to shit. peace.

sylvanonsmack @ 2006-10-06T03:15:00

2006-10-06T08:25:43Z

do you know how hard to is to be told you aren't loved?
well of course you do. everyones gone through it, i was just hoping this time it would be different.
that i wouldn't have to go through the same shit again.
things aren't looking in my favor these days.

my best friend whom i treat like trash will be leaving soon.

my car will most likely die without help, help i can't give it.

the credit card i racked up over the summer, will never get paid off.

my job seems to be the only stabble thing at this moment and even then i'm not getting enough hours to do anything. i have to take up others unwanted, or sick hours inorder to get a desent check in my hands.

my mother is to crazy to live with, i wonder if my father truely loves her, or if he is even home enough to know. if so, how does he do it, how does he know?

i need to go to school for something i'm just not sure what that is yet.

red is dead

2006-07-20T19:13:53Z

a lot of shit has happend since my last update.
i got my lip peirced.
i moved back to Tony's.
however i work like 20 hours a week so i stay at my parents when i'm working for the most part.
my mom is finding me health insurance if i change my perminent adress it will only cost four bucks a month and 3 dollar co-pays. i don't think i'm going to do this.... not sure.
my mama is going to pay for my health which i sweet, i suppose. did you know that it costs 32 more dollars on some health just because you smoke. shitty.
chillax with Niki yesterday = awesome like always.
now i'm waiting for Tone to wake up.
i'm trying to save up for a car, it isn't going to well. *le sigh*
peace nukkas.

i hope no one really reads these anymore.

2006-06-11T23:46:34Z

FUCK MY LIFE.

"yeah I found god and he was absolutely nothin' like me" - Live

2006-06-06T04:30:17Z

i've decided even though i love living with Tony and his family, that it would be best for me to go home.
i hate it here but i have all the neccesities i need and can actually go places.
plus i will be able to hang out with the friends i haven't seen in ages.

Tone got a bassist for his band and so this summer he will be doing a lot of practiceing.
it sucks but mang those kids can play.

guess what!?
i'm graduating yes little miss ashley will be leaving high school for the rest of her life never to return.
it actually sucks, i've grown fond of my teachers at Cedar and got used to the people.
i mean now what am i going to do?
i'm not one for responsiblity but i guess thats what i'm getting thrown into.
lame.

i'm in love....

2006-05-12T21:44:57Z

with this song.

"The problem is all inside your head", she said to me
The answer is easy if you take it logically
I'd like to help you in your struggle to be free
There must be fifty ways to leave your lover

She said it's really not my habit to intrude
Furthermore, I hope my meaning won't be lost or misconstrued
But I'll repeat myself at the risk of being crude
There must be fifty ways to leave your lover
Fifty ways to leave your lover

You just slip out the back, Jack
Make a new plan, Stan
You don't need to be coy, Roy
Just get yourself free
Hop on the bus, Gus
You don't need to discuss much
Just drop off the key, Lee
And get yourself free

Ooo slip out the back, Jack
Make a new plan, Stan
You don't need to be coy, Roy
Just listen to me
Hop on the bus, Gus
You don't need to discuss much
Just drop off the key, Lee
And get yourself free

She said it grieves me so to see you in such pain
I wish there was something I could do to make you smile again
I said I appreciate that and would you please explain
About the fifty ways

She said why don't we both just sleep on it tonight
And I believe in the morning you'll begin to see the light
And then she kissed me and I realized she probably was right
There must be fifty ways to leave your lover
Fifty ways to leave your lover

You just slip out the back, Jack
Make a new plan, Stan
You don't need to be coy, Roy
Just get yourself free
Hop on the bus, Gus
You don't need to discuss much
Just drop off the key, Lee
And get yourself free

Slip out the back, Jack
Make a new plan, Stan
You don't need to be coy, Roy
Just listen to me
Hop on the bus, Gus
You don't need to discuss much
Just drop off the key, Lee
And get yourself free

lets not forget ourselves girlfriend.

2006-04-25T19:33:45Z

your better off for leaving.

so i have moved out of my house.

i've been spendng most nights at Tonys.

he treats me gooood.

Levi brought me home today (my 'rents are out of town)the only reason i went was because i felt like shit and throw up 3 times in the bathroom. yuk. haha someone asked Sloneker if i was pregnant, which for everyones info. is very impossible at the moment.

peace out.

sylvanonsmack @ 2006-04-06T10:19:00

2006-04-06T15:23:48Z

I like Tony.
i hate Jake.
i love Niki.
i adore Levi.

i quit on prom i'll just do what i did last time and try to get drunk this time though i will be successful.

boom boom boom i want to go boom boom

2006-04-02T18:04:50Z

"if you talk to much my head with explode!" -song of the fucking week

im an alien that has come down to earth to steal all your booze!

he is here just to get fucked up. : )

we were fucking rebels.

"Ashley you're not part of the band!" ... "uh, i don't want to be."

chillin' with Tony and friends.

TRIX ARE FOR KIDS.

Last but not least, the almight, all wonderful, NIKI.

sylvanonsmack @ 2006-03-19T19:52:00

2006-03-20T01:59:42Z

This is what our whole weekend was like...

haha i always do...

translation: ashley, you win bitch.
mawhaha

anyway if i win, why do i feel so alone?
is it because i can't have what i want?
am i that self-absorbed that i can't see whats best for me and others around me?

end.

ps. Genger my new pup, is a fucking bitch.

"let me take this awkward saw"

2006-03-13T23:00:22Z

i want a house.
that is all i want in life is house.
i am bored and not doing my work in lovely slonekers class.
her desk is messy.

haha the above ^ was writen at school and this amazing webpage brought it home for me isn't that wicked cool??? well moral of that is don't ever write anything you don't mean! because some how it will get back to you. thank god this isn't that case....

main reason for updating today is this

Translation of "Iesu"

from afar
he threw a word like an ax

it cut to pieces
the night's empty sky

it pierced
my unprepared heart

in an instant the ice split
water danced up like a fish

i thought it was intregueing.

sylvanonsmack @ 2006-02-14T22:48:00

2006-02-15T04:58:42Z

To whom it concerns,
i am so sorry. i fucked up i snapped when i should have been more sensitive.
i did not stand up for one of the few people in this world that mean everything to me. i was too afraid of the stupid black bitches to stand up for you and that is not an excuse. i really could not handle losing you. i hope you know how much you mean to me.
maybe you can forgive me in time.

PS.
Happy V-day everyone.

PSS.
this is my indian lova.

we rock the trains.

i like this picture for all its imperfections.
"DO NOT HUMP"

"i'm only a woman"

2006-02-04T14:26:22Z

The last two days have pretty much been perfect.
i stayed home Thursday. i slept and listened to Hollywood Undead along with Jeffree Star.
Jacob brought Maureen over and we all played with paint....

these two are awesome. i'm in love with them.

Defineatly need to chillax with Momo more.
of course then there was Andy & Ryan joining us to have KFC and play Apples to Apples.
good times good times.
The very next day i had all intestions to go to school. i call Shaun up to make sure he was going too. He says "bring me Mcdonalds." i was planning on getting some anyways, so i was like heh okay. Ten Minutes later Levi calls "i'm outsdie Shauns house" So we all end up skipping first hour. Levi leaves, Shaun and I are going to go to school, and i change my mind fuck math, i do believe i failed it now. i went to B-ville to run into David & Niki, i steal Niki, give Jake a hug. Vistit Wolf. And head for Rainbow, where i did not get a check. *sigh*oh well... we go to The B-ville Center. fucking awesome Cinnabon, Pretzels, "Best Friends" necklaces, fake tattoos, new piercing thingers, trying on dresses.
Jake, Niki and I went ummm close to uptown ha. yeah.
we then just chill. Niki & Jake leave me. I get together again with Niki and her mom at Perkins; were i stay till 2:30 am, along with Ryan Louie and Jacob. which is the first time i personally think i actually saw Louie since well Niki killed his hair. we smoked and talked about poop amoung other things. I crashed at Jacob's, even though i wanted to go to a park. My dad didn't even ask where i was. eh maybe he thought i came home. puh.
"he fell and broke his face in two"
The End of my most simple with a little bit of complictaed 2 days.
maw. later.

you leave, but never get away.

2006-01-25T22:19:42Z

LEVI is now at Cedar with me! i bother him in his Public Speech class.

but thats okay because he boths me in our Advisory.

i have nothing to do today... : ( kinda sad.
well i guess filling out my application for MCAD is something. eesh thinking about my future sucks.
i stole paint and paper from art so that i can start on my portfolio thinger. god i suck.
OOOOoooo! my sister brought me shopping the other day. so here is a list of what i got over the weekend, it will be so exciting i promise. heh.
new shoes
plugs - that i'm too chicken to put in.
shirt from Niki
shirt from Heather
scarf
2 pair of socks
and underware from target AND victorias..... oooolala.
i think it is time for a nap.
pizooooot!
ps.
Who should i ask to prom? and when is it???

bitch out of water.

2006-01-06T01:12:50Z

i gottsa my hair cut....

side view....

PLAYING AROUND!

i like this here kid...

sylvanonsmack @ 2006-01-03T05:14:00

2006-01-03T11:25:28Z

Jake and i hung out the last two days, pretty cool kid.

New Years Eve party, haha Niki and i ment to stay home.

^ Shaunessy did her make up and Liz did her hair. She looks so HAWT.

i don't have any pictures of it, but we all got in our underware and went into a hot tub, it was rockin'

Nicole kissed alot of girls and this cutie too...

Niki's Indian friend Shae.

they are not drunk. NO WAY, not at all.

ROAD TRIP.
heh i forgot to take a lot of pictures but here are a few i have...
mostly what i saw on the way up was this...

purty? yes.
Duluths clock.

We ate at Luce's twice! oh it was soooo goooooooood.

^ they only look like this 'cuz they were hung over... eeeesh.
one more...

The fun we had with Kyle and V-nut!
aight so that was my break.
end.

sylvanonsmack @ 2005-12-29T09:52:00

2005-12-29T16:08:14Z

i guess i'm supposed to put what i got for christmas so here i go....
a super sweet Cannon digital camera (7.1 mega pix.)
FLCL!!!!
skirt that is brownish purple and i'm in love with BUT is like 6 sizes too small.
4 shirts and a sweat shirt.
a nasty scarf (that i picked out..?)
Black eyed peas cd.
reeses & a gift card to Carribou - Niki and i used it in one fowl swoop.
ear rings.
calandar.
a fake camera.i shall put pictures up tomorrow.

Take control!

2005-12-16T17:06:22Z

i'm in skool. listening to music on the laptop.ineedapee.

chill with Niki today and 4 MCS 2MORROW!

Can't fucking wait.

now i'm listening to gangsta music cause i don't know how to turn it off...haha.

i want to do something fun right now, something crazy cool and new... something wicked sweet.... too bad there is nothing like that here in MN.

iamavirgin. puh.

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHHHHH. THE GANGSTAS ARE CLAPPIN'!!!! I'M FUCKING

SCARED.

so bored. oh so fucking bored.

"someone come rescue my from all this same old shit.

save me from the same faces.

get me out of this hole, that i'm diggin'"

i forgot my lunch.fuck. FOOOOOOOD.

who is gonna read this shit???

if u did leave me a comment, er, something so i know that i am important.

alot can happen in 12 hours.

2005-12-12T17:21:00Z

i popped my ear drum. so i can not hear AT ALL out of mmy left ear.
James got suspended today from school. he and Fardosa were ummmm talking and she attacked him. :( now i am sad and lonely and my tummy hurts plus i don't have a cell phone... it died. UGH.

i just want to sleep in a warm bed. and have Kale with me.

i hope everyone had a good time at Norma Jean last night.

just words.

2005-12-09T03:23:51Z

This past week has been pretty shitty; with the exception of one or two events.
Mah camera is out o' batteries, and i'm too lazy/brokw to buy anymore.
heh. smoking sux.
i was sooo mean yesterday, i feel like shit.
I GOING TO KILL TERRANCE FROM MY ART CLASS! ifuckinghatethatkidandheshouldfalldownsomestairsandrotheisagodamnnigeredskinedfagplusheismeantome:(
he ruined my favorite class.
i <3 bekbee.
i miss Levi, Niki, and Shaun. they should call me.
Vernon, me, a little bit of Kyle and James, went to the mall 3 times, perkins, and the park yesterday. 'twas enjoyable.
my grandma is going into memory care, she can't remember to put her shoes on when should goes outside (and worse things) = depressing.
wiihiodhhdashfjeyfyrfhsvjbcgasdfgtwebcrjagdhfgvgervb is how i am feeling right now.

peace out.

ouiouioui
kalefuckin'roxmysox!

Mr. Squishy.

2005-12-04T00:05:03Z

Is no longer with us.
i was holding him in my hands when he stopped breathing.

i miss him already.

sylvanonsmack @ 2005-11-29T08:50:00

2005-11-29T14:51:00Z

Ain't she cute?!

i ment to post these a while back...

2005-11-25T05:58:48Z

i miss Moe's backyard. this will sound retarded but it is very photogenic.

This is what happens when Niki & i are in St. Paul.

GO PROTESTERS!!!

Look at that juicy ass.
P.S Jake & Scode rescued me. They rock.

sylvanonsmack @ 2005-11-23T11:04:00

2005-11-23T17:08:24Z

"HE'S A FAKE!" - Elf.

We watched Charlie and the Chocolate Factor today and yesterday for Public Speaking ans we are watching Elf today.

I'm so bored. i hate this fucking school. gag and this wekend is going to be horrible and lonely. FUCK.

"i need u so much closer"

2005-11-17T04:24:47Z

Boys are jerks.
I GOT NEW BOOTS.
Silly me for thinking i could get a boy that likes me for just being there.

I hung out with Jimbere and Jexi today. Mostly we ate candy and eggs. James taught me to play Fable. I took a nap with Jexi. fuck i forgot to call him. shit.fuck.god damn it know he is prolly sleeping. shit.

Cedar is ummm sweet. Gyrl is cute, and she gave me a ride to Shaun's for lunch yesterday which was uber nice.